I definitely know there's a lot of ugliness out there about us. Honestly, I think a lot of it's because people squirm at how real we are. I think it bothers some people because it makes them think, If cameras were at my house, what would they capture? Would I be okay with that being aired?- Kate Gosselin via Today's Christian WomanHello Gosselin fans! There is something wonderful in just knowing you don't have to go to work the next day. But when your a stay at home mom, the days seem to blur a bit and you just may not feel sometimes like your EVER getting a break. Or maybe your working part-time like me & your somewhere in the middle. One of the many things that get me angry at people that criticize Jon & Kate Gosselin is they feel they have the right because they are on a TV show. Like their lives are soo much better, like everything they do is perfect. Their parenting is always correct. What if we could perhaps turn the tables on some of these moms that troll boards like GWOP "Gossipers wishing for popularity" LOVE THAT! Gave them a huge amount of money in exchange for filming only one day of their lives so that WE could be the ones judging. Are you thinking Supernanny? I thought so too.
Another upsetting issue I have is when people feel they have the right to judge Kate when she goes away for a speaking engagement. Would any of us with young kids at the moment kill for a few weekends away to make a few bucks and get some alone time? Are you just jealous you cant? And those that are not in their shoes, do you have any idea what its like? Right now the brightest spot of my week is here alone, on my computer, with the baby in bed, my eldest sleeping over nanny's house and my husband playing cards. Yup, even if his behind doesnt return with the $20 I lent him I will still be thanking the Lord I was given this time to ramble to the fans...that understand ;)
Multiple Blessings Rises To Number 6 on The New York Times Best Seller List!
Uhh who over at the hate sites predicted it wouldn't sell past Christmas????
Grandma's Vegetable Soup Recipe
I know many of you wanted me to find this..I am adding this to my Kate's Recipe Page That can be found HERE. Updated regularly since August 2008! (l0l)
Brides Want To Be Like Kate At Kleinfelds
Well the new Kate articles are slow this week, but I found a cute one. This article from Syracuse.com was doing a "Say Yes To The Dress" review. What was interesting was...
"Brides try to be more like Kate Gosselin, the mom on "Jon & Kate Plus 8." Granted that she was renewing her vows, Kate chose her dress alone. She was sure of herself. She knew what looked good on her. And, most of all, she trusted her instincts. Kate looked great. She didn't need a committee to come to that conclusion." I quote this because again, so many comments were made on the hate blogs how Kate came by herself to pick out her dress and how terrible that was. Little did they know it was the complete opposite and now Kate is her own trend!
23 comments:
In some respects I feel that the Gosselins are just like many of us, hardworking parents just trying to do our best!
Yes, there are many differences between the Gosselins and my family. However, there are many differences between my family and the neighbors that live next door. My point is that everyone is different, has different circumstances and yet we all have similarities that make us relate to one another.
I have said before that I would jump at the chance if TLC knocked at my door and offered me the same deal that the Gosselins have. However, if you want to get real, I don't know if I would want everyone in the world to see the ugliness that can transpire in our house from time to time.
I really try to be patient and kind, keep a low voice, be positive. However, I do have my moments when I yell at the kids, when I bark at my husband, when I don't shower all day and a week could go by before I mop the hardwood floors.
I don't know if I would really have the guts to let the world see me at my darkest moments. That is one thing I really respect in Jon and Kate. Yes, we only get a very small snipit of their real lives, but I feel that what they do show is pretty darn real!
Remember the episode when Kate yelled at the kids and threw the BBQ grill down the stairs? I do! I was shocked with horror until I realized that a month earlier that had been me with my own kids! I hate it when I get like that. And even though I seldom act like that, when it does happen, I am filled with guilt and pray to do better next time!
Seeing Kate be a REAL mom, the good, the kisses and hugs, performing everyday mundane chores, traveling, the bad, the snarky comments to Jon, the "love taps", the out of control moments like throwing the bbq down the stairs...those are ALL the moments that make Kate relatable to me!
And let me just say that if I was given the opportunity to spend even one night away, with my husband, with a friend or even on my own...I would JUMP at the opportunity!! I LOVE my children and my husband with ever fiber of my being but I would love a little time to myself! I am a stay at home mom and LOVE it, but everyone needs a break and I believe it makes us better parents!
My husband traveled all over the United States with his job, building and reconditioning refineries. I was a stay at home mom, and I thank god everyday that I had the luxery to do that.I went to college, received my degree, got married and had beautiful babies. But, I always felt left out. My friends had careers and would always talk about the office, so I started a small business at home, that would not interfere with school schedules, practices, games and all the other stuff we Moms are here to do. With my hubby gone all the time, I would feel so guilty about trying to get a break. I can see Kate in me as a young mother. I would get so frustrated about having to do it all. There were days I just wanted to sit and cry and I only had 3 children( One who is legally blind). So, I could not imagine 8. But, now that the kids are grown and starting their own life, I finally get to travel and work with my hubby. So, in the end no matter how rough it is, god always has something great planned. My hubby and I have spent more time together this last year, than all our years of marriage. Its like being newlyweds all over again. I can remember being so upset with him all the time because I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and when he came home, I was still the control freak. I would not deviate from my schedule. But, I was alone with the kids most of the time and I had to follow that schedule to keep things in order. So, I totally understand Kate and her actions. Different circumstances but still in a sense the same.
So let the "Gossipers wishing of Popularity" take there little jabs. Because we here in the real world, kmow what life is all about. We live it and appreciate what we have. I know I sure would like to have had an opportunity like Jon & Kate. I am very happy that those children and parents get to enjoy each other everyday of their lives. The trolls should be also. There is no abuse or exploiting going on. All I see is a very happy and loving family, with natural bumps in the road.
yaaaye! this post made me feel really happy cos with all the negative publicity, its nice to see kate step up and do her thing. :)
multiple blessings was an amazing book. i'm glad its climbing!
"Another upsetting issue I have is when people feel they have the right to judge Kate when she goes away for a speaking engagement."
Again, a double standard - dads can travel often for business and nobody says A WORD. But it's not ok for her to do it because she's a woman? She's leaving the kids with THEIR DAD, ferchrissakes.
Having never had a "white wedding" in either of my two marriages I didn't know you weren't supposed to go alone to choose your bridal dress? I don't see anything wrong with that? I never take my husband clothes shopping with me. I'm sure Jon trusted Kate's impeccable taste (evidenced by the gorgeous dress she chose) and, people, this was a vow renewal, very low key, outdoors on an island. Does the choice of the dress matter all that much? I'm in constant disbelief and the things people choose to berate her about, good heavens!!!
Bee, I haven't seen that BBQ grill throwing episode (I thought I had seen them all!) but, believe me, I've had many of those moments with only two kids!!!
Bee,
Great comment! This is front page material.
Carol,
The BBQ grill episode was classic. A perfect example of a Real Mom that has had just to much.
I missed that BBQ grill episode, too. But, nonetheless....a real moment, from a real mom.
I don't see anything wrong with going alone to get your wedding dress either. I did like this quote...
.... And, most of all, she trusted her instincts. Kate looked great. She didn't need a committee to come to that conclusion."
I like it because I think so many young women don't trust their instints and just go with what her crowd of friends say. Not, just in terms of a wedding dress, but in terms of everyday life. They need confidence and to not worry about a lot of stuff. But, you know, they also need to experience life to realize it.
http://auntjodispeaks.blogspot.com/
Your site is lovely.
With all due respect, there is no way to know who wrote that blog. It would be a beautiful and lovely sentiment if it actually came from Julie, but it could be a misguided soul trying to make things "better" or trying to make Julie look worse in the public's eye. So, I'm taking that blog with a boulder of salt. It wouldn't be the first time an impersonator tried to pass themselves off on a jon&kate forum.
Anyone thinking Penn Mommy speaks again. People need to stop this. It gets old really fast and Baby Mama is not going to fall for it.
Seriously, I do not believe it is Possum. I just believe it is someone that thinks the Gosselin fan base will be as gullible as the Gosselin non fan base.
If Jodi wanted to speak, it would not be on this blog or any other blog.
Bee, I loved your post!! I agree w/Nina, it is def. front page material. Nicely written.
Oh I so wish, it was truly Jodi, but we all know better dont we?
I don't know if none of you would want to be filmed everyday b/c of the critiques you would get doesn't give Jon and Kate a pass b/c they are being filmed everyday.
This BBQ episode that is being talked about is very sad. In the real world Kate could have be arrested for child endangerment charges if a cop was passing at the right time or if a neighbor reported loud noises. It isn't a "mom being a mom" when her children are under ten! If she gets that violent now with them at this age what in the world is going to happen when they become outspoken teenagers? Would she call the cops on them if they did the same thing?
Duckie,
First of all, Kate was not violent with the children in the episode that I referred to. Yes, she was very upset and threw a toy bbq grill down the stairs, but she did not physically touch any of the children. I agree it was sad seeing Kate so upset and yelling at the kids. However, as mom with small children it depicted how sometimes we can lose our cool and do things that we are not espeically proud of. I don't believe a women that has small children who says they never have lost it. I have never thrown objects about the house but I certainly have yelled at my kids. I am not proud of that kind of behaviour and I try to be a better mom everyday.
BabyMama,
I don't remember the title of the episode. Kate was putting the sextuplets down for naps and she found a drawer knob from Mady and Cara's dresser on the floor of the tups room. She really lost her cool, yelling at the kids and she even threw their plastic bbq grill downstairs because it was a downstairs toy and someone had brought it upstairs. It was pretty ugly but as I said it was a "real" moment that I think a lot of us mom could relate to.
Bee,
No one said that is was a plastic toy, I saw, in my head, an actual BBQ grill careening down a set of porch steps. Yet, even though it was a toy, she was still having a temper-tantrum in front of the children. That is a big no-no for a mother with young children.
At the same time you don't have to actually hit a child to abuse a child.
I am NOT calling Kate an abuser.
Just telling you that physical abuse is not the only type there is. What if one of the children had been down stairs or near the stairs when she threw it would you still defend her, or anyone else for that matter, if the toy had hit the child.
You can yell at or discipline your children with out being violent about it.
Yes I know that they have eight kids, however there are people who are out there that have 9,10,11,12 or more. A large part of those people gave birth to them, others adopted, and still others are foster parents and barely any of them are complaining as much as Kate does about having eight.
When you get IVF treatments there is a caution listed about multi-births. To ignore that even when you know it is a possiblity and would not be ready for such an undertaking is being wreckless.
However, I am in the philosophy that every child is here on earth for a reason, and goes through things for that purpose. What's the reason for the Gosselin children I don't know but I'm sure we will find out.
Just Expressing Not Hating
Duckie
TRUE STORY. I lost it when I found out the kids were messing around with the computer and it crashed. I was so distraught I threw the laundry down the stairs instead of just putting it in the basket. A baby shoe (stuck within the laundry) hit the wall where we have photos down the stairs kicking off a picture that shattered all over our steps & the floor with shards of glass. I was hysterical. It got ugly.
I was mad at the kids, I was mad at myself and now I was mad my husband was freaking about the glass. I could only imagine if that was on TV. There would be blogs started over it. TRUST
My point is, it happened, I was mad, I overreacted and made things worse, and thank goodness the world wasnt watching. The haters are just LOOKING for things to fault this poor woman when you know all those people have probably done ALOT worse. My point....hmm don't have one..;)
Ohh wait I remembered I had a point. My point is, I dont have half the number of kids that Kate does and I complain MORE than she does. Does that make me a bad parent? no, just that I like to complain alot. And nothing makes me more frustrated than people complaining about how Kate complains. We all do it, some more than others. Why does that make her such a SHREW in those trolls eyes? I feel that they know they do the same, but just like In High School, its better to tease someone else then to point out our exact same faults.
Duckie~
Speaking to someone that went through 4 IUI'S and 1 In-Vitro to have my last baby I will say I take offense to your comment. We are WELL aware of the risks and are very cautious. What we are blessed with, just like Kate is what we have. To say that even when you know it is a possibility and would not be ready for such an undertaking is being wreckless is a comment based from ignorance to the situation. We as parents going into this are NEVER reckless.
Also your comment "You can yell at or discipline your children with out being violent about it." Please. She was not being violent to her children. I was not being violent to my kids when I threw a basket down the stairs only being violent in general. I am at fault with that, but don't get the two confused or I will get all ape $@&* on you. Kidding, I'm not really violent, just making I guess another point.
Baby Mama,
You can delete this if you want (I believe you will), but it is very much wreckless/reckless for anyone to have a child when they are not ready, and to have IUI/IVF when there it is possible to have muli's and you're not ready for that, is as well. I do believe in IVF b/c it is a great way for women who need them to have children. However, if you should complain on a daily or three day basis when they have come into your life is not looking at this as a blessing as we are meant to believe by Kate; Jon yes, Kate not so much. (Or by you if you complain as much as you say you do.) At first I understood Kate's exhaustion she did just give birth and like every new mom needed help and she needed more than you would for one. But, she then once she got a routine down it should have become easier just like for every other mom who wanted children. I'm not saying parenting is easy but if you have as many problems as Jon and Kate say that they do maybe they should go to a parenting class and get some counseling. There is nothing wrong asking for advice and she has shown over and over that she is able to ask for help.
Also, the reason why I am so defensive is I have see the worst that Kate can be first hand. My bestfriend growning up came from a family of 10 kids. The reason why her mom kept having kids is so she could keep getting money from the state. There really is no difference between Kate and my friends mother. Kate has used her children for money as well. It may not be money from the state but she is still receiving money as charity Jon & Kate just call it a love offering and rating from a TV show. They have also shown that they would have receieved money from the state if there was no show when the kids were first born.
What I believe being violent is, is what I have said. You, I believe was being violent. The situation with your computer was mostly the the fault of you and your husband for not backing up your files with a hard copy. To get as mad at your children as you say you did that you threw a shoe, whether it was in the dirty clothes or not, and broke something is just childish. The same question is posed to you... don't you believe that if one of your children had been in the wrong place when the picture was broke and got hurt by the breaking glass would you not have been responsible? You could have had to take a child to the ER and then explain to the nurse what happened. Now I don't know what the rules are in your area but around here the nurse would have had to bring in child services. And you could have had to explain that you got so mad that you threw a shoe and hurt your child. First offence would have gotten off with a warning but you would also be on watch at the hosipital. To only say that you overreacted and are happy that the "world" didn't see it happen is sad. If you really believe you were wrong you would have said IMO "I am so happy that my children weren't around to get hurt." Maybe you should have a little counseling too... instead of doing this blog everyday take one hour a week and go and talk to someone about your anger.
I do have a point...
My friends father, the same one that has 10 kids in the family, got so mad one day and threw a hammer, it was the closest thing he reached for, my friend didn't see it and walked into its path. She couldn't duck out of the way in time and she was hit in the head. He threw it b/c he was tying to sleep and her other brothers and sisters were making alot of noise. She was in charge of babysitting. She ran to my house which was three blocks away to call and get help. When the paramedics got to my house they checked her out and said that she was very lucky b/c it was only about an inch away from her temple. It was an accident but it became assult as soon as she was hit with the hammer. Child services stepped in and her brothers and sisters were split up and put in foster care. They never lived in the same house again. I know you must think I am making this up but I am not.
I am not saying that you or Kate would throw a hammer at your kids or around your kids but you did throw something and there could have been really bad consequences. Just b/c nothing happened this time doesn't mean it won't the next time (if there is one).
Like I said I have a feeling you will delete this, but I really wanted you to read it and I hope you read all of it before you deleted it.
Just Soapboxing Not Hating,
Duckie
Duckie~ Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I decided to keep your post because well, its just that. You also sound a bit like my mother, so if shes doing something shady on the side......
Nobody knows how another lives their lives everyday. No one has the right to judge anyone else but they do simply because they can. That doesnt make their comment right or in anyway accurate, only that they are voicing their own opinion.
I feel that if your story is indeed a truthful one, then this could be the reason you say what you do, hopefully without malice. Sometimes we all do something we are no proud of, but it doesnt mean we love our children any less. There are HUGE differences between being in a pissy, upset mood and doing something stupid and being violent towards your children. Your comments border on accusation, so be careful on the fence.
I value the root of what I hope you are saying, which is....try to not let the little things drive you crazy. This could in itself be a whole daily topic, but I will stop there and respect your opinion as just that, hopefully this doesn't change how you view the show or this family. As you see this is why this show in particular has such a place in my heart.
In my initial post I should of specified that it was a toy, plastic grill. I can see how Duckie and possibly others might of thought that Kate had REALLY lost control!
That being said, sometimes I wonder if people that post and criticize Kate are even mothers themselves?
I really respect Kate but I do not hold any misconceptions that she is a "perfect" mom/person. There have been many things that she has done on the show that I have not agreed with. However, I can relate to her because she is a mom, dealing with real issues just like I am.
Also, Jon and Kate both realized that there was a high chance that they could have multiples again. Certainly, no one expected sextuplets but they have taken what God gave them and they continue to do the best they can!
Were they fully prepared for 6 babies? I can't speak for them, but as a mom of 2 little ones, I can tell you that my husband and I were not fully "ready" when we had each of our children. Can one truly be "ready" for a child? With our second child we had a much better idea of what it was like to have a baby, but with the actual birth of our second child, came months of transition. So, no I doubt that the Gosselins were "ready" for 6 babies but I am sure that they were ready as any of us parents can be when expecting an addition to the family.
BabyMama...had to laugh at the "do I have a point" comment...in our house that is called Mommy Brain!
Duckie,
First of all you did not read Baby Mama's comment very well. She said she threw the laundry down the stairs and a baby shoe was STUCK in it. She never said she threw a shoe down the stairs. That is exactly how the crap at "Gossipers Wishing of Popularity" AKA GWOP gets started. Yes that is what I call people that have nothing better to do than pick apart people they do not even know. You guys see and hear what you want. Then turn it into a huge topic that does not mean crap.
So, Kate threw a PLASTIC BBQ grill down the stairs. ALL the children were in the room with her, so throwing the grill was by no means going to hurt the kids. Kate yells, so what I yell and my kids are 25, 23, and 18. But things get the better of you. I was a stay at home mom, which I explained in a previous post. Life was not a bed of roses. Everyone has a meltdown from time to time, including you I am sure. Are you saying you have never had a tantrum in front of someone? tantrum is not pretty in front of anyone, whether they are 1 or 101. After its over we all feel like idiots, but it happens. Unless you are Mother Theresa, I think you have faults and your comments walk a fine line.
Baby Mama, I can totally relate to your story about the laundry basket. I think most people who have been moms know that feeling of frustration and despair you reach sometimes. The sleep deprivation, having to think of 12 things at once, feeling like life's out of control most of the time, etc. is just overwhelming. I have had many "bad mommy moments" and that's what I and my fellow mom friends call them; we know they're just bad _moments_. This is very, very different from families where children are truly in danger like that family duckie refers to.
I have two kids and they are 3 years apart and I have "lost it" many times. I can't even imagine the stress of twins, let alone 8 kids all under age 4 at one point. I remember saying out loud to my kids when one was 3 and one was an infant "I can't do this!" And I was "ready" to have kids! Saying Kate wasn't "ready" to have multiples so she shouldn't have had IVF is unnecessarily judgemental because, first of all, you cannot control everything in life so you go with what's statistically likely (sextuplets are rare) and, second, she's doing a pretty amazing job, definitely better than I could and, believe it or not, better than a lot of people.
Duckie, when you meet children who, for example, are diabetic and their parents send them to school with no snack and the nurse or teacher has to provide a snack to keep their blood sugar up, you will truly know what a neglected child is. There are kids we have to provide toothbrushes and hair brushes and deodorant to so they can clean up when they get to school. When your world gets bigger you'll get some perspective on Kate Gosselin and realize the little petty things people criticize her for are insignificant.
Turns out I have seen that toy BBQ grill episode (I didn't realize it was the one where "nobody" took the doorknob out of the girls' room :) ). It says something that I didn't even remember her throwing the toy down the stairs.
I have worked with abused and neglected children and I still work with severely handicapped adults that live in group homes. You can tell which ones are neglected. So, I believe that my world is pretty large.
I grew up with a single mom that had three children. My mom had no help what-so-ever. My father (or sperm donor as I have referred to him my whole life) stop being a dad when my parents divorced when I was three, my older brother was seven, and my younger brother was one. My mom's family helped us out so that she could get a college education, however on her graduation day my grandmother told her daughter to make sure she didn't look for a full time job b/c she wasn't going to watch us while she worked. I was in first grade.
My mom was forced to go on Welfare. No matter what kind of education she had. When all three of us were finally in school full time my mom did go out and find a job. But, my older brother started skipping school which my mom had to choose: make sure he got to school or have a job. She picked his education. My grandparents helped some what. My grandfather was sick and my grandmother was a bitch. When my grandpa died my mom was left without any help b/c he was a the rock in our family. We didn't have a car for five years and so we were only able to go to the convenient store to shop with outrageous food costs. My mom was able to get a ride into town once a month and get her food stamps and buy as much groceries as she could.
I know all of this but at the same time we had a very happy childhood. My mom taught us discipline and always got compliments on her childrens behavior. We were able to play sports and even though we didn't have anything we had everything. I have learned that you don't need anything to be happy.
Now, my mom has also been fighting depression since my grandpa died. I didn't really know about it until I was in my late teens b/c my mom was able to hide it from us. She didn't throw temper tantrums in front of us, and I know now that many times she didn't sleep at night with all of the worry she had about what she was going to do.
My mom was ready to be a mom a single mom I don't know, but she learned how to make sure that her kids had a childhood. She never once told me she regretted having us we were her light in her dark world.
Now, what I was trying to say about IVF Jon and Kate both said that they didn't have good enough jobs to support the treatments but went ahead with them. They also knew full well that they were spending way too much money since they needed help just to pay bills. That is reckless planing. If it were me I would have waited until I was more financially secure before I brought one more child into this world. They already had two beautiful girls and it was even said that Jon was happy with two children. Kate pushed for more. When they had six show up they were devastated!?! b/c they knew they wouldn't be able to afford them. Why in the world would any mother who is trying as hard as Kate be devastated that she is pregnant no matter the number? SHE KNEW THE RISKS YET STILL USED ALL OF HER MONEY TO GET PREGNANT! That is my true problem with Kate. It wasn't that they got pregnant then lost their jobs they weren't ready for it before they started.
Just Trying To Clear Up My Thoughts
Not Hating,
Duckie
PS if anyone wants to know any questions about me I will be happy to answer them.
Duckie,
Where exactly did you "hear" that Jon and Kate both said that neither of them had good enough jobs to support the fertility treatments? And where did you get the information that they "knew" they were spending to much since they needed help with the bills?
There are many "official" places to get information on the Gosselins. I have never seen or read any of the above comments that you refer to. Perhaps, you should read their book and get their perspective on life before the sextuplets, their experience with fertility treatments, Jon's unemployment and their financial hardship the first year after the sextuplets were born. I think reading their book might clear up some misconceptions you have regarding those situations.
I am sorry for your mother's hard plight as a single mom. My mother was also a single mom at the age or 19. She struggled without a lot of help as well. She overcame a lot of obstacles and became a successful business women raising 3 children on her own.
You said that your mom was ready to be a mom, but that you weren't sure if she were ready to be a single mom. I think that is exactly what happened to Kate in her situation. She was as ready as she could be to be a mother again, they even knew that multiples were a possibility again. However, she was not prepared, nor could she be prepared, for sextuplets.
I will never pretend that I know what it was like to be Kate Gosselin, or you. We each have unique situation. Some of us can relate to one another because we have children, we have careers, are married etc. If I had to guess, I would say that you are not married and do not have children.
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